


Ah! What a lovely maiden it is!

by Rozilla



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Jane Foster, Awesome Pepper Potts, F/M, Genderfluid Thor, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:04:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozilla/pseuds/Rozilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor, Jane and Darcy recreate the famous Elmer Boyd Smith illustration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ah! What a lovely maiden it is!

**Author's Note:**

> In case you haven't seen it: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ah,_what_a_lovely_maid_it_is!_by_Elmer_Boyd_Smith.jpg

When Vanity Fair put forward the idea, mainly as a joke, Thor leapt at the chance, Jane and Darcy swept up before they could blink. He contacted Tony and Pepper, who knew a thing or two about style- she had something of an eye for this sort of thing, as well as being an impeccable CEO. Alongside the photo-shoot, Thor would be interviewed mainly about Asgardian culture and his role in various Norse myths.  
Tony paid out of his personal account for the privilege of seeing Thor actually dressed in his mother's drapes; along with an up and coming photographer, a pair of white cats (plus animal wrangler) and Vivian Westwood's best threads. She had to at least loosely stick to the original illustration by Elmer Boyd Smith but she outdid herself. She couldn't make the shoot (chest infection), but the gowns were made to Jane's, Darcy's and Thor's (frankly amazing) measurements and there was a stylist and Pepper on hand to help set up. The colours were in keeping with what Thor described as traditional Norse/Asgardian dress- mostly muted blues, greens, yellows and accented with gold. Pepper was discussing the shoot with a tall stylish black woman named Quinta Sampson, who according to Pepper was a rising star fashion photographer. They were umming and ahhing over Thor's pose, constantly referring to the original illustration whilst Darcy and Jane were turning and twirling in their gowns. Darcy was the figure on the left holding Freya's necklace, with a variation on the medieval-style gossamer headdress that accented her long black tresses. Jane was to be the figure on the right holding up the keys to him, her head adorned in a golden crown and her hair parted with white ribbon. Thor himself was far too radiant- Darcy had always said he could make a penguin onesie look sexy- and was as beautiful in the flowing light green gown, complete with subtle yellow veil and corded headdress (that some how brought out his eyes) as he did in his armour and cape. Jane could hardly equate the man who stood before her, smiling and winking at her as she admired his dress, with the same character from the story they were, effectively, illustrating.  
'The story is true,' Thor had previously told the interviewer 'this was before my father enchanted Mjolnir so that only one who is worthy can lift it, in fact, it was because of this incident that my father enchanted it. I easily passed as a female giantess- in fact they thought me comparatively dainty! However, I did not kill Thrym, although I must have killed a few giants in my escape.'

The most glaring difference between the photo and the illustration would be the absence of the smirking figure of Loki. Thor agreed that perhaps it would be insulting to the people of New York- a city still suffering after two years- to include him in such a humorous light.  
'I still think fondly of our time as youths,' he admitted sadly 'but I understand his crimes and cannot condone them, only hope to make amends through my service to Midgard.'  
Jane had to hold him tight after that interview, it had brought up such painful memories that he could not leave their bedroom for two days. The shoot would go a long way to help cheer him up. 'You look beautiful Jane,' he whispered down to her, she giggled a little 'So do you! You're not meant to be looking so happy by the way, see?'  
She pointed to the Boyd Smith illustration projected on the opposite wall to help the models and it did show Thor looking somewhat despondent. He smirked 'I have to admit was rather unenthusiastic about dressing up- though it was probably because at the time I preferred the more... direct approach.'  
Jane kissed his cheek 'Well, this one worked just as well right?'  
'Oh yes,' he chuckled as a tutting stylist came over and wiped away the faintest trace of lipstick away from his face where Jane had kissed it.  
'My arms are getting tired,' Darcy complained 'this thing weighs a ton!'  
She rattled the decorative keys and Jane rolled her eyes 'Well these keys isn't exactly light either, least you don't have to wear the crown!'  
Darcy shrugged 'I always knew you could rock a crown.'  
'Me to,' Thor muttered, with a twinkle in his eye. Jane shot him a look in return.  
'Right,' Quinta announced 'I think we're ready to start! Girls, positions please? Bring the lights over here!'  
It took over eight hours, Jane and Darcy feeling it and needing a sit down and sip some water every half hour or so, whilst Thor could stand still the whole time if needed. Tony came in, almost laughing until Pepper, Jane, Darcy, Quinta and Thor shot him a poisonous glare.  
'I can tweet this right?' Tony asked, picking his phone out of his pocket.  
'Not too much,' Pepper warned him 'we don't want to give it away.'

Afterwards, Tony treated them all to dinner in the Avenger's common room, both Jane and Darcy was so exhausted they polished off nearly as much as Thor did.  
'How do professional models do it?' Jane asked, a finishing off the best gluten-free chicken chow-mein she'd ever had 'day in and day out and they don't even get to stuff their faces at the end of it!'  
Darcy said something inaudible through a mouth full of sweet and sour pork, Jane shook her head 'Charming.'  
Tony swigged a mouthful of beer 'You never considered becoming a model Foster? You've got the looks- objectively speaking,' he added, glancing at Thor, who had raised an eyebrow.  
'Nu-huh, no way,' Jane pointed her chopsticks 'What about you Mr Stark? Ever considered being a model? You've got the looks.'  
'Objectively speaking,' Thor added.  
'Hey! I was going to say that!' Darcy piped up.  
'Touché,' Tony conceded.  
Pepper entered, kicking off her Jimmy Choos and curling up on the sofa next to Tony, who mock frowned and pouted at her 'Peeeeep! They're picking on me!'  
'Are you being a tad sexist?'  
Tony turned to Jane and Darcy who were nodding and Thor raised his eyebrows.  
'Seems so,' Tony sighed.  
'Then don't appeal to me for help bucko, you're on your own,' Pepper reached forward to pick up a beer.  
'I was just saying Jane's a pretty girl- I mean woman, obviously,' he corrected himself when he saw the look in Jane's eye 'and she could be a model, but-'  
'I could've been a model to,' Pepper replied 'in fact I was for a while.'  
'I saw,' Tony grinned 'teen magazines in the ninties?'  
'It was good money and it got me through college,' Pepper rolled her eyes 'plus, it was modelling platform sandals, strappy dresses and inflatable backpacks- though I was offered more... intimate stuff.'  
There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment.  
'I had one of those blow up backpacks when I was senior in High School!' Jane piped up 'For a week... I broke when I put my alien themed math-kit in there.'  
'God you're old, I had one of those in middle school,' Darcy was googling on her phone to show Thor what they were talking about, when he saw he frowned 'They look rather impractical.'  
'They were, but totally cute, I think they're coming back in,' she turned to Pepper 'so you just did it to pay the bills? You didn't want a career in modelling?'  
'No,' Pepper shuddered 'I hated it, I felt like meat on display... plus everyone was mean and ruthless- at least in this job I feel like I'm building something up, creating something, but being a model you have to stop yourself from collapsing most of the time- although you have to do that on this job to.'  
'I, for one, am glad you became my assistant,' Tony leaned in to kiss her cheek.  
'Suppose, but if I had stayed a model and you slept with me you wouldn't have to respect my opinions or even call me back the next day so...'  
'Ouch,' hissed Darcy.  
'True,' Tony sighed 'shame really.'  
This earned him a rain of prawn crackers and fortune cookies.

'Ah what a lovely maid it is,' Jane declared, curled up to Thor that night after they went to bed. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her 'Glad you think so.'  
'You looked good in a dress,' she murmured, falling asleep 'mind you look good without a dress to.'  
'I would agree,' he kissed her on the temple 'and say the same of you.'  
He waited for a reply, but sighed when he heard a light snore. It would seem beauty was an exhausting process.


End file.
